Back to His Arms

Luke 15:20
Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him.

When I was a child, I loved God. I went to church, Sunday School, Vacation Bible School, church camp, you name it, I was there. I loved God and felt his love around me. Then, something changed.
For just a few months, I decided I was angry with God. I wasn’t so sure he loved me and I was pretty sure I didn’t love him. See, I had suffered a loss. A family member had died and I was angry. At seven, anger is a scary thing. It still is. But at seven, it engulfed me.
I didn’t want to talk to God. I couldn’t see how he could love me and let the people I loved leave. For the first time, I didn’t feel him by my side.
Somehow, through God’s grace, I felt his presence once again. In fact, I suddenly knew he had been there all along. Just waiting. I knew I could grab his hand and he’d be there forever. But I felt ashamed. I wasn’t sure that God would forgive my lapse of faith.
A few years later, I was talking to my teacher and confessed my weeks of loneliness, when I doubted God. Here was his response: “Amanda, grace works like this. God is our father. Like a good dad, he takes your hand as you cross the street, trying to keep you safe. He’s so happy when you hold on. But you don’t have to. He lets you decide. When you let go, even for a minute, he is sad and scared. All he wants is to have you back in his arms. He waits and he reaches out to you. When you come back, he rejoices. He loves you. He wants nothing more than walk with you. Even when you wouldn’t hold his hand, he never stopped loving you, and he never stopped trying. He’s just glad you’re back.” I wish I could go back and thank my teacher for his words of wisdom.
Like the prodigal son, I felt ashamed that I had left. In the story, the son left his family, squandered his inheritance, led a shameful life and returned home hoping to work as a servant in his father’s house. Instead, as he walked up the road, his father ran, embraced him and celebrated his return. See, we all go through periods in our lives where we decide to go it alone. I go through seasons of faith that pull me far from him. I know he’s there; I just don’t take the time for Him. Somehow, I always end up back in His arms. Alone I am lost. In his love, I am secure.


Forgiving God,
You have an amazing capacity to love us, despite our frequent mistakes. We stray from your presence, only to return, hoping to feel you near us once again. You always take us back. You are always there. Thank you.
Amen