Guidance

Isaiah 42:16 I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.

I work with children with a variety of disabilities. I have been blessed to see so many changes in young lives. Recently, I have worked with a child who is blind. She was not walking when we started to work together, so I was blessed to see her move from stationary, to crawling, standing, cruising, and finally taking her first steps. Throughout the process, she worked with a team of therapists, one of them specializing in vision therapy.

At one meeting, the vision therapist began to explain to the family what would be involved in the process of this child learning to walk independently. One of the important aspects was balance and guidance. As this child began to walk independently, it was important that she be able to grade where she was using her hands. She would run her hands along the wall gently, not necessarily to hold her up, but just to guide her along the safe path. The family needed to make sure not to move too many things around and to keep her path clear in those first few months, to provide a safe environment for her to walk.

At the time, I thought about how interesting my job is, and how inspired I was by watching the process of walking unfold for this child. It wasn't until a few months later that I made the connections between this little girl's struggle to walk an my struggle to live.

Sometimes, I cruise along in life, feeling like I can handle it all alone. Things feel good. I'm pretty sure I have it covered. Then I bump into something. If I have myself grounded in my faith, I'm okay. Even when I feel like there's no way I can stand, I can brace myself on God and somehow make it through. But in those times I have drifted from God, I fall so much faster. I lose my balance and lose my way. Like my patient's little hand on the wall, my faith in God guides me, even when I can't see him.

In Isaiah, God tells us that though we are blind, he will lead us safely through unfamiliar paths. It is such a blessing to know that he will lead us and not forsake us. On those days when I feel like I cannot put one foot in front of the other, God will guide me. On those days when I can't see the next step on the path, be will lead my feet. I only have to remain standing, and he will lead me home. If I can put one foot in front of the other, he will bring me to his peace.

Heavenly Father,

There are so many times when I cannot see the path in front of me. Lord, help me to walk in faith, rather than by my sight. Give me confidence in my steps and lead me safely to your arms.

Amen.

A Doubting Saint

John 20:24-25 Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!" But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."

I was recently listening to a sermon about the resurrection and Jesus' appearances to his disciples. I was distracted, when Thomas was referred to as St. Thomas. See, my whole life I had referred to this disciple as doubting Thomas. I knew he was a saint now, but I didn't really think of him that way. Somehow, I felt that his lack of faith in that one moment defined him for eternity.

I didn't see Thomas as God did. See, in God's eyes, our identity is not a combination of all the things we've done in our lives. We are not defined by our actions, but our faith. Until this point, I didn't really focus on the part of the story where Thomas' doubt is transformed into a simple but profound statement of faith, "My Lord and My God!" Thomas cried. Thomas realized that standing before him was the one he wanted to serve his whole life. Standing before him was the one God he had been searching for. Each morning, I should fall to my knees and call out this same creed, uttered not by a doubter, but a saint.

In God's eyes, we're all saints. It makes me happy to think that the labels that stick on me here on earth, will be replaced in heaven. I'll no longer be doubting, wayward, or unsuccessful. Instead I will be a saint, a child of God. In fact, the Bible says that we will even be given a new name, known only to God. All the labels and adjectives that are attached to our earthly name will be gone, replaced by a new, pristine and holy name.

I am so excited for the time that I will be a saint, a child of God, holy. It makes me want to act like that now. If God is eventually going to call me his child, I'd better start behaving. Why wait until eternity to live in his perfection when eternity can start today? I'm not saying I won't make mistakes, in fact, I'll probably make one even before you read this. What I am saying is that God will remember me as he sees me; his child, made perfect through his Son.

Heavenly Father,

I seldom feel like a saint here on earth. I have done so many things that were not in your plan. Looking at my life, a million imperfections glisten like freshly fallen snow in April. And yet, you don't see the imperfection, you see the saint you have made me to be. Lord, help me to be that saint. Give me the will, the words and the way to do your work here on earth. Draw me to you and help me to draw others to you as well. Pull me close. I love you.

Amen

Life-saving device

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

I was driving in my car today, enjoying the sunshine after the long winter of grey. I wasn't thinking about my car's engine, battery or airbags at the time. That is, until I saw an accident by the side of the road.

Suddenly I was grateful for the safety mechanisms that I usually take for granted. I got to thinking about how my airbag could potentially save my life. It could keep me from suffering the ultimate consequence of poor or distracting driving.

That's not to say that I would walk away from an accident unscathed. I realize that, even with airbags, I could have broken bones, scrapes, bruises, any number of injuries. But ulitmately, wounds heal and life is precious.

Isn't that how it is with God? We drive around, taking him for granted, possibly even making poor reckless choices. We do things that could harm or even kill us. And yet Jesus, with intimate mercy, literally took the blow for us. He submitted himself to suffering and death that we might live.

That doesn't mean we'll walk away unscathed. Like a car accident, we may be bruised or broken, but we will have life and life eternal. Jesus literally inflates himself, wraps his arms around us and holds us close, despite our sin and pain. He preserves our eternal life. He paid the ultimate price so that we don't have to.

Jesus,

Thank you for caring so much about us that you were willing to come to earth to protect us from our sins. We often take you for granted, forgetting you are there until we need you. We become frustrated and upset when we are in the middle of a painful situation. We forget that you are lovingly wrapping your arms around us to keep us safe. Thank you for always being there.

Amen

Temptation

Romans 7:15
I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve decided that I am going to exercise. The execution looks different each time, but the conviction is the same. I will get up early, I will stay up late, I will start right after work, I will aim for three times a week… You get the idea.

Somehow, I always end up caving and sleeping in, having a snack, talking on the phone or anything else to avoid exercising. At some point, I acknowledge defeat and accept that I have failed once again, feeling weak and small.

I think this is a mild version of what Paul is talking about. We all have something that interferes with our relationship with God. We know what is right and what is wrong. We try to live a good life, forgive, think, “What would Jesus do?” But somehow, we find ourselves gossiping at church coffee hour. We don’t’ even make it out the door before we fall.

Paul reminds us that despite our sinful nature, Christ loves us. He died for us to free us from the power of sin. When we are tempted, we can call on Jesus to walk with us. He knows what it’s like. He’s lived through it. The difference is He was strong enough to resist. He’ll hold our hand and pick us up when we fall. Sometimes, we just need someone to brush us off and tell us to start fresh.

I remember struggling with my thesis in graduate school. I had written three pages and was stuck. I was sure I could get to page four if I just sat long enough. Finally, I went to bed. The next night, I sat down at the computer and thought, where was I going with this? I need to start again. So I erased the file and began typing.

Jesus gives us unlimited opportunities to start again. His grace means that we can have a clean slate. We just need to bring our sins and lay them at
his feet. Our repentance makes us ready, his grace makes us clean. Sometimes a fresh start is all you need.

Lord Jesus,
You have been here. You were tempted and stayed strong. I am weak, but you can make me strong. Wash me clean and give m a fresh start. Walk with me in my struggles. Hold m when I fall. I am sorry for my failures, but confident in your grace. Thank you for the gift of a fresh start.

Amen

Lost and Found

Matthew 18:12 "What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?

I learn so much about my behavior from my kids. Two summers ago, we brought our girls to Six Flags. We were in the Wiggles World and had given my oldest the freedom to wait in line by herself for a ride. We watched her closely, she got on the ride, we relaxed a bit and waited with our younger daughter. The ride let out, and Maggie was not there. We panicked, found the staff and asked what to do next. They calmly asked what she was wearing, turned and pointed to a young girl, leaving a ride. It was Maggie. She had gotten on a different ride and we didn't see her. Unfortunately for her, we left our post and she couldn't find us either. Terrified, she called to us. When we were reunited, she was angry with us for losing her. A long lecture and the punishment of leaving the park resulted in her never repeating that drama.

I think I am a lot like that. See, I'll be walking along with God. We'll be pals. I call on him for help, he comes through, we're a team. Then, suddenly I get distracted. I decide that I know how to do my life better and I go about things my own way. "I can work out finances." or "Look how well I did at that!" I say. God leaves the picture. Inevitably, something goes wrong. I reach for God and he's gone. He's out of the picture. I can't find him no matter how hard I look.

I get angry and confused. I can't understand why he would leave me when I need him most. What I fail to acknowledge is that I left him, not the other way around. Like Maggie in Wiggles World, I had my own ideas, got lost and got angry. If I had stayed close by all along, I could have avoided the stress and confusion of being lost. Like a child, I ignore my role in the situation and blame God. Lonely, I cry out and accuse him.

Eventually, I find my way back, irate that I have been alone for so long. Suddenly, things seem clearer and life gets better. I get into my groove, count on him and feel better. I hardly even realize that I was the one who left and he is the one who brought me back. Luckily for me, he always seems to find me.

Heavenly Father,

I know I am your child, and that you want what is best for me. So often, I walk away, convinced I can figure things out on my own. Inevitably I mess things up. I get scared and confused. I get angry and cry out to you. Without fail, you bring me back to you. By your side, I can do anything. Thank you for your compassion and companionship. Keep me close to you.

Amen

Vernal Ponds

Song of Solomon 2:11-12 See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land.

I recently read an article in the Forest Preserve's newsletter about vernal ponds. In case you are unfamiliar with this amazing habitat (as I was), I will give you a brief synopsis. Vernal ponds are the big pools of water that appear in spring as the result of snow melting, rain falling and the water table rising. I have seen these frequently on my hikes and considered them a nuisance of spring. They prevent me from following the trail I am walking on, provide another reason my kids can't splash and all-around disrupt my lovely encounter with nature. What I didn't realize was how important and intricate they are.

See, in the vernal pond, a huge diversity of life emerges, protected by the fact that the ponds are inconsistent (predators have more trouble finding them). Some species of life can only begin in these quickly fading pools of water. In fact, the balance of life in the larger environment depends greatly on this small nuisance for me. I guess I will not become too upset when I next encounter a standing pool of water.

I think that in my everyday life, there are a lot of vernal ponds. See, I have many things I would love to see just "dry up and disappear." I have spiritual eyesores that I hope no one notices. I struggle through periods of doubt and confusion. I slowly begin to rely on myself to provide for my family, rather than trusting and acknowledging that God is the source of all good things. I wonder how God can allow pain and suffering and challenge him to come down and fix it all, to "prove himself" so to speak.

I want to avoid these tough spots. I want to live a faith filled life, with no struggle or pain. And yet, it is in these painful periods that I learn life's most important lessons. I learn about God's amazing compassion, when I see a friend who is struggling with a child's chronic illness call on God for strength. I see God's incredible forgiveness when I walk away from him, once again and he welcomes me back with open arms. I see God's endless mercy when I take credit for his deeds, and he blesses me just the same.

If I didn't have to face my own vernal ponds, ugly spiritual terrain, I wouldn't learn the beautiful spiritual truths that give me strength and courage in my faith. Just as in the forest preserves near my house, these vernal ponds are teeming with growth. I need to stand in awe and wonder, praising God for the his wisdom and diversity and trusting him to bring out new life once again.

Heavenly Father,

You have thought out every aspect of your creation, both physical and spiritual. You have given us beautiful spring blooms and stagnant vernal ponds. You have given us spiritual highs and lows. Through all of these things, you bring new life. Help us to recognize the growth and potential, rather then focusing on the external appearances. Bring us growth and new life.

Amen.

Gethsemane

Luke 22:41-44

He withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

As a child, I remember standing in the small church I grew up in, looking behind the altar at an amazing painting of a peaceful Jesus, praying, leaning on a stone, with light surrounding his head and a pensive look on his face. I asked, "What is that picture about?" "It's Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane," was the response. I thought about how lucky it was for Jesus that he got to pray there. Obviously, it was a wonderful, peaceful place, and God was right there with him.

As I grew older, and was able to understand the story behind the painting, I began to realize that Jesus's time in the garden was not as peaceful as the painting portrayed it to be. He was pleading with God that he might be spared this suffering. He must have felt so alone. He knew that his best friends on earth were off sleeping and his greatest enemies were drawing nearer. He knew that great pain was ahead of him, for a crime he had never committed. And yet, he prayed, "not my will, but yours be done."

What makes me even more amazed is that Jesus was in this situation, not by his own doing, but by ours. I hate to see friends upset. When they have a small problem, I want to step in and fix it right up. But Jesus was pleading for the solution to a problem I caused. There is nothing I can do to fix it. Actually, he fixed it for me. I realize now what He did for me. It's amazing to think that in his love, God died for me. Aside from that he was afraid. He didn't use superhuman courage, but love. Love for you and love for me. I am full of gratitude for his willingness to do for me what I could never do.

The only appropriate response is to give him praise and live my life serving him and others. This Easter season let's remember the sacrifice and love present in Gethsemane that blessed night.

Holy Jesus,

You, in infinite love, faced fear and confusion. Rejected by your friends and hunted by your enemies, you prayed that things could be different. And yet, you walked into the hands of your accusers and died on the cross, not for your sins, but for mine. Thank you so much for you r love and mercy. Help me to live my life remembering your grace. Help me to show your love to others and praise you in all I do.

Amen

Opportunity

Colossians 4:5
Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity.

I love getting to know people. My husband teases me because I talk to everyone. We can be in the parking lot at Target and I’ll see a van with bikes on top. The driver gets out the door and within seconds, I know where they’re headed and how long they plan on staying. That’s just how I am. At every opportunity I meet people.

Paul tells us that we need to take advantage of these opportunities. We are not supposed to isolate ourselves, associating only with other Christians. We are meant to meet, care for and minister to Christians and non Christians alike.

If we spend all of our time with other Christians, we’ll feel good, but we won’t be drawing others toward Christ. In the words of the classic song, This Little Light of Mine:
Hide it under a bushel…
No, I’m gonna let it shine!

We can hide our faith, or let it shine. We don’t have to bombard people with our faith, just glow consistently. I think in imagery and here’s what’s coming at me right now: two fires. One burns so hot, you can barely draw near. The other glows warmly, providing light and inviting others to draw in and feel its warmth. Which on will you sit by?

We burn too strongly when we share God’s word through judgment, hypocrisy and demands for faith. We glow warmly when we serve, give thanks and praise.

What opportunity lies ahead today, to allow you to burn gently, but consistently for Christ?

Lord God,
You provide us with so many opportunities to share your love. Help us to take advantage of those opportunities. Help us to burn for you, drawing others in, rather than pushing them away.

Amen

Faith

Mark 9:24
“I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”

Each night, my daughters and I sit in their room and pray. First we tell God what we are grateful for that day. Then we ask God for help with something. I am used to the usual requests, “Help me fall asleep,” “Help me not hit,” “Help me reach things that are high (no joke, for almost two months we heard that one!) Then, one night, my oldest daughter stopped me in my tracks with “I need help believing in God.”
When I caught my breath, I was able to say, “That’s a really smart prayer. It’s not always easy to believe, sometimes we need help.” We had a great conversation, she went to sleep and I prayed for a long time.

Christianity calls us to do a very difficult thing. We are to believe in Jesus, who we cannot see and who lived two thousand years ago and who asks us to live in a way that is very different from our society’s norms. It sounds almost impossible, and it is. That is, it is impossible if we try to do it alone.

Jesus realized that his disciples would struggle with this, that’s why he sent the Holy Spirit to help them. The Holy Spirit can sense our struggles and calm our fears. The Spirit can give us words at just the right moment, and help us to stay quiet other times. The Spirit can affirm our belief in us when the winds of doubt blow through our mind. The spirit is there at every baptism, every funeral, every step of the way, if we only look.

Sometimes, I feel God’s presence more than others. I will admit that I have gone through many periods of doubt. “If God is real, why did that child die?” “If God is real, why do so many people have trouble having children?” “If God is real, why can’t we all respect each other?” These periods of doubt ultimately bring me closer to God. Somehow, the Spirit makes God’s presence known through a song on the radio, played at just the right time, the words of a friend, saying exactly what I need to hear, or the colors of a sunset as I drive home from an exhausting day at work. The presentation varied, but the presence is constant, God’s love is lasting and his arms are strong. He will pull me from the depths of doubt onto my foundation of faith, I just need to reach up and hold him.

Holy Spirit,
Your presence in my life is amazing. Without you, faith is impossible. Help me in the times I feel I can do it alone. Stand by me, so that when I fall, you can catch me. Enter my heart so that I can be your voice, helping others along their journey of faith, through your power.

Amen.

The Storm

Matthew 14: 25-33 During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

When I was a little girl, I used to love to go out in the rain. I'd jump in puddles, catch raindrops on my tongue and dance with wild abandon, completely indifferent to the cold rain, wet hair or muddy shoes. Gentle rains were wonderful.

However, I was terrified of thunderstorms. I would wake up in the middle of the night, thunder rolling over the house. Then a loud crack and a flash of light would send me running to my mother's bed. I'd climb in, safe and secure, knowing that nothing could hurt me there.

Now I'm blessed to be on the other end of the storm. It's my bed that gets invaded and my arms that protect. I love it.

The disciples were in a storm, unprotected, on the water. I'm sure their confidence was as shaky as the boat they were clinging to. Then suddenly, Jesus appeared, walking on water nonetheless. I can't imagine what that felt like. Peter, in his typical impulsive manner, decided that he had to be a part of that. Boldly he challenged Jesus, "Let me come out there." He did it too, until he realized what was going on. Like a child riding a bike, who realizes that dad has let go, Peter fell. Luckily, Jesus was close at hand to pull him out.

I have been through many storms in my life. Sometimes I feel like Peter, unsure about my ability to stay afloat. But if I take a second, turn to Christ in faith, the storm seems to calm a bit and I remain afloat. I'm not saying my troubles go away, it's just that I find peace in the midst of them. Rather than sinking, I am able to peacefully move forward until I end up on solid ground.

Heavenly Father,

We brave so many storms in this life. Alone, they seem scary and impossible. Thank you for letting us crawl into your arms, like a child into her Mommy's bed. Safely help us until the storm passes. Help us to have faith in you despite the storms and trials of this life. Draw us near to you, that we may feel your peace.

Amen.

Strength

Philippians 4:13 For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.

When you were growing up, were you ever told that you could do anything, if you just tried hard enough? I think this is a very frustrating comment. I've mentioned before that I am athletically challenged. My mom enrolled me in all the right classes when I was a kid. She sent me to dance, gymnastics, swimming, tennis. The only one I had any success at was swimming.

For the rest of the classes, I tried, I just never succeeded. I tried. I really wanted to do well. Even to this day I have the desire. Recently a friend brought her Wii over and we tried to play tennis. By the end of the first game, her husband sweetly commented, "Maybe we should try different game." See, it's not that I don't try. It's just that I am not talented in that area.

That phrase, "you can do anything," is frustrating to me. I can't. I can't be Venus Williams. I just can't. However, the passage we are focusing on today says that we can indeed to all things through God. When I was younger, that frustrated me as much as my mom's admonition that if I practiced enough I could do anything. Somehow it felt that my failures were due to a lack of effort or a lack of faith, rather than a lack of talent.

As an adult, I understand what Paul is saying in a totally different way. See, I believe that Paul is encouraging us to stay firm on the path placed before us by God. For in our darkest hours, God will give us the strength to carry on.

I know that I am blessed in this life with family, friends, a job, a house and countless other blessings that I take for granted every day. However, there are days when I feel like I cannot handle all the responsibilities that come with these blessings. I feel like there are not enough hours in the day to get all my work done. There's not enough of me to go around. On those days I feel like I need an escape. I know that I can never be successful, so I should just quit. I want to crawl in bed and let it all slip away for just a few sweet minutes. I know that if anyone could see my weakness, they would know what a fraud I am.

But honestly, people don't see the weaknesses. They don't hear my inner thoughts and doubts, instead they see me somehow make it all work out. They see me balance work, family, friends and God carefully. They see the end result. Sure, I drop a few balls along the way, but they don't notice that. Instead they see me "getting it done."

A couple of people have even said, "I don't know how you do it." Usually, I push away the comment by drawing attention to my many mistakes. Today though, I realized, I do get it done. I also realized how I do it. I don't do it with great organizational skills, for those are sorely lacking in my life. Instead, know that God gives me strength and grants me the grace to do what is set before me.

I try to spend time with him every day. I pray, listen to worship music, read the Bible, whatever works that day. Ironically, on the days that are very busy or stressful, I've found that time with God is longer rather than shorter. I may spend a few more minutes in prayer. I may search his word a little longer, looking for the passage that I need to focus on today. God reaches out through his word, through music and through prayer to strengthen me. He helps me to do the work he has given me; to raise my family, help children learn to communicate, share his love and serve my neighbors. He doesn't mind the mistakes I make along the way, as long as I keep running forward and giving it my all. He will see me through. I just have to rely on him.

Heavenly Father,

You have said that when I call on Jesus, there is nothing I can't do. While I wish that meant that with Jesus' help, I can become an amazing artist or tennis player, I know that you are telling me that if I follow your path and call on your name, you will help me to do the work you have given me to do. Thank you. I need your help. Please, Lord, help me to focus my energy on you, help me discern what it is you want me to do and keep me on the path, so that I may serve you.

Amen.