Sunday, May 10, 2009

Spring


Colossians 2:6-7 So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

I love spring! The trees are all blooming and the air is crisp, yet warmer and with the promise of longer days to come. I especially enjoy the trees that bloom in the spring. The vibrant colors brighten the neighborhood, the smell of flowers drifts toward my nose on a gentle breeze and the recently barren branches provide shade and beauty for all to see. I wish they could bloom all year.

Unfortunately, spring lasts but a short while. The blossoms are replaced by lush leaves and the smells of lilac and magnolia are a memory until next year. It's amazing how plants work. They bloom in the spring, grow dormant in the winter, and in between use water, light and soil to produce food. The cycle of life in a plant is amazing.

I have come to realize that my spiritual life has a similar cycle. I have periods of spring, when my faith blossoms and grows. I also have periods that feel dormant, when I know that God is there, but I don't feel like I'm bearing much fruit.

Sometimes I feel God's presence more than others. When I'm in a good season, God is right there next to me, from morning to night. Everything I do feels like worship. I love it. When I'm in a bit of a drought, I feel like God is there, but he's distant. I can't quite reach him. I strain and I reach, but I can't make contact.

During these periods of drought, I think I could learn a lot from the plants around us. See, when there's a drought, plants don't pick up their roots and move, they dig deeper, finding water in the deepest soil. Plants grow and turn to maximize their exposure to light. I think I need to do the same thing. See, when I go through a dry spell with my faith, I don't dig deeper, in fact I do the opposite. I take a week off of church. I don't make time to read my Bible that day. I fall asleep without prayer. Unlike a plant that turns toward the light, I pull myself away from the Son.

I think we need to remember that in a rough time, we need to dig deeper and reach for God with passion. We can't pull up our roots and assume that God will grow our faith. We need to take part in the process. Those times when it's hard to feel God's presence, we need to reach farther. Those are the times we need to bury ourselves in the Word. During the the dry spells we need to worship more, because our collective worship can pull us closer to God. In those dry spells, I rely on those around me to help me dig. Sometimes my husband gets me to church when I "don't feel like it." Other times, I am find God's presence in my small group, when someone lovingly reminds me of how much God loves me and of the plans he has made for me.

One little glimpse of God's plan for my life energizes me to draw closer to him. Suddenly the trivial tasks of the day, like making breakfast for the kids or going to work feel like worship again. I am so grateful to every person who has brought me back into God's presence. I am in awe of God's willingness to make my life a beautiful flower, despite all of my dry spells. God is good! All the time!

Heavenly Father,
You know how our hearts and minds work. We go through periods when our faith blossoms and periods when our faith lies dormant. Help us to seek you, even in the dry times. Help us to dig for you, Lord. Help us to sink in our roots and drink you in. Nurture us in our faith. Strengthen us Lord. Grow us.
Amen

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Guidance


Isaiah 42:16 I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.

I work with children with a variety of disabilities. I have been blessed to see so many changes in young lives. Recently, I have worked with a child who is blind. She was not walking when we started to work together, so I was blessed to see her move from stationary, to crawling, standing, cruising, and finally taking her first steps. Throughout the process, she worked with a team of therapists, one of them specializing in vision therapy.

At one meeting, the vision therapist began to explain to the family what would be involved in the process of this child learning to walk independently. One of the important aspects was balance and guidance. As this child began to walk independently, it was important that she be able to grade where she was using her hands. She would run her hands along the wall gently, not necessarily to hold her up, but just to guide her along the safe path. The family needed to make sure not to move too many things around and to keep her path clear in those first few months, to provide a safe environment for her to walk.

At the time, I thought about how interesting my job is, and how inspired I was by watching the process of walking unfold for this child. It wasn't until a few months later that I made the connections between this little girl's struggle to walk an my struggle to live.

Sometimes, I cruise along in life, feeling like I can handle it all alone. Things feel good. I'm pretty sure I have it covered. Then I bump into something. If I have myself grounded in my faith, I'm okay. Even when I feel like there's no way I can stand, I can brace myself on God and somehow make it through. But in those times I have drifted from God, I fall so much faster. I lose my balance and lose my way. Like my patient's little hand on the wall, my faith in God guides me, even when I can't see him.

In Isaiah, God tells us that though we are blind, he will lead us safely through unfamiliar paths. It is such a blessing to know that he will lead us and not forsake us. On those days when I feel like I cannot put one foot in front of the other, God will guide me. On those days when I can't see the next step on the path, be will lead my feet. I only have to remain standing, and he will lead me home. If I can put one foot in front of the other, he will bring me to his peace.

Heavenly Father,

There are so many times when I cannot see the path in front of me. Lord, help me to walk in faith, rather than by my sight. Give me confidence in my steps and lead me safely to your arms.

Amen.

Monday, April 20, 2009

A Doubting Saint


John 20:24-25 Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!" But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."

I was recently listening to a sermon about the resurrection and Jesus' appearances to his disciples. I was distracted, when Thomas was referred to as St. Thomas. See, my whole life I had referred to this disciple as doubting Thomas. I knew he was a saint now, but I didn't really think of him that way. Somehow, I felt that his lack of faith in that one moment defined him for eternity.

I didn't see Thomas as God did. See, in God's eyes, our identity is not a combination of all the things we've done in our lives. We are not defined by our actions, but our faith. Until this point, I didn't really focus on the part of the story where Thomas' doubt is transformed into a simple but profound statement of faith, "My Lord and My God!" Thomas cried. Thomas realized that standing before him was the one he wanted to serve his whole life. Standing before him was the one God he had been searching for. Each morning, I should fall to my knees and call out this same creed, uttered not by a doubter, but a saint.

In God's eyes, we're all saints. It makes me happy to think that the labels that stick on me here on earth, will be replaced in heaven. I'll no longer be doubting, wayward, or unsuccessful. Instead I will be a saint, a child of God. In fact, the Bible says that we will even be given a new name, known only to God. All the labels and adjectives that are attached to our earthly name will be gone, replaced by a new, pristine and holy name.

I am so excited for the time that I will be a saint, a child of God, holy. It makes me want to act like that now. If God is eventually going to call me his child, I'd better start behaving. Why wait until eternity to live in his perfection when eternity can start today? I'm not saying I won't make mistakes, in fact, I'll probably make one even before you read this. What I am saying is that God will remember me as he sees me; his child, made perfect through his Son.

Heavenly Father,
I seldom feel like a saint here on earth. I have done so many things that were not in your plan. Looking at my life, a million imperfections glisten like freshly fallen snow in April. And yet, you don't see the imperfection, you see the saint you have made me to be. Lord, help me to be that saint. Give me the will, the words and the way to do your work here on earth. Draw me to you and help me to draw others to you as well. Pull me close. I love you.
Amen

Life-saving device




John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.


I was driving in my car today, enjoying the sunshine after the long winter of grey. I wasn't thinking about my car's engine, battery or airbags at the time. That is, until I saw an accident by the side of the road.

Suddenly I was grateful for the safety mechanisms that I usually take for granted. I got to thinking about how my airbag could potentially save my life. It could keep me from suffering the ultimate consequence of poor or distracting driving.

That's not to say that I would walk away from an accident unscathed. I realize that, even with airbags, I could have broken bones, scrapes, bruises, any number of injuries. But ulitmately, wounds heal and life is precious.

Isn't that how it is with God? We drive around, taking him for granted, possibly even making poor reckless choices. We do things that could harm or even kill us. And yet Jesus, with intimate mercy, literally took the blow for us. He submitted himself to suffering and death that we might live.

That doesn't mean we'll walk away unscathed. Like a car accident, we may be bruised or broken, but we will have life and life eternal. Jesus literally inflates himself, wraps his arms around us and holds us close, despite our sin and pain. He preserves our eternal life. He paid the ultimate price so that we don't have to.
Jesus,
Thank you for caring so much about us that you were willing to come to earth to protect us from our sins. We often take you for granted, forgetting you are there until we need you. We become frustrated and upset when we are in the middle of a painful situation. We forget that you are lovingly wrapping your arms around us to keep us safe. Thank you for always being there.
Amen

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Temptation

Romans 7:15
I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve decided that I am going to exercise. The execution looks different each time, but the conviction is the same. I will get up early, I will stay up late, I will start right after work, I will aim for three times a week… You get the idea.

Somehow, I always end up caving and sleeping in, having a snack, talking on the phone or anything else to avoid exercising. At some point, I acknowledge defeat and accept that I have failed once again, feeling weak and small.

I think this is a mild version of what Paul is talking about. We all have something that interferes with our relationship with God. We know what is right and what is wrong. We try to live a good life, forgive, think, “What would Jesus do?” But somehow, we find ourselves gossiping at church coffee hour. We don’t’ even make it out the door before we fall.

Paul reminds us that despite our sinful nature, Christ loves us. He died for us to free us from the power of sin. When we are tempted, we can call on Jesus to walk with us. He knows what it’s like. He’s lived through it. The difference is He was strong enough to resist. He’ll hold our hand and pick us up when we fall. Sometimes, we just need someone to brush us off and tell us to start fresh.

I remember struggling with my thesis in graduate school. I had written three pages and was stuck. I was sure I could get to page four if I just sat long enough. Finally, I went to bed. The next night, I sat down at the computer and thought, where was I going with this? I need to start again. So I erased the file and began typing.

Jesus gives us unlimited opportunities to start again. His grace means that we can have a clean slate. We just need to bring our sins and lay them at
his feet. Our repentance makes us ready, his grace makes us clean. Sometimes a fresh start is all you need.

Lord Jesus,
You have been here. You were tempted and stayed strong. I am weak, but you can make me strong. Wash me clean and give m a fresh start. Walk with me in my struggles. Hold m when I fall. I am sorry for my failures, but confident in your grace. Thank you for the gift of a fresh start.

Amen

Monday, April 13, 2009

Lost and Found


Matthew 18:12 "What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?

I learn so much about my behavior from my kids. Two summers ago, we brought our girls to Six Flags. We were in the Wiggles World and had given my oldest the freedom to wait in line by herself for a ride. We watched her closely, she got on the ride, we relaxed a bit and waited with our younger daughter. The ride let out, and Maggie was not there. We panicked, found the staff and asked what to do next. They calmly asked what she was wearing, turned and pointed to a young girl, leaving a ride. It was Maggie. She had gotten on a different ride and we didn't see her. Unfortunately for her, we left our post and she couldn't find us either. Terrified, she called to us. When we were reunited, she was angry with us for losing her. A long lecture and the punishment of leaving the park resulted in her never repeating that drama.

I think I am a lot like that. See, I'll be walking along with God. We'll be pals. I call on him for help, he comes through, we're a team. Then, suddenly I get distracted. I decide that I know how to do my life better and I go about things my own way. "I can work out finances." or "Look how well I did at that!" I say. God leaves the picture. Inevitably, something goes wrong. I reach for God and he's gone. He's out of the picture. I can't find him no matter how hard I look.

I get angry and confused. I can't understand why he would leave me when I need him most. What I fail to acknowledge is that I left him, not the other way around. Like Maggie in Wiggles World, I had my own ideas, got lost and got angry. If I had stayed close by all along, I could have avoided the stress and confusion of being lost. Like a child, I ignore my role in the situation and blame God. Lonely, I cry out and accuse him.

Eventually, I find my way back, irate that I have been alone for so long. Suddenly, things seem clearer and life gets better. I get into my groove, count on him and feel better. I hardly even realize that I was the one who left and he is the one who brought me back. Luckily for me, he always seems to find me.

Heavenly Father,
I know I am your child, and that you want what is best for me. So often, I walk away, convinced I can figure things out on my own. Inevitably I mess things up. I get scared and confused. I get angry and cry out to you. Without fail, you bring me back to you. By your side, I can do anything. Thank you for your compassion and companionship. Keep me close to you.
Amen

Vernal Ponds


Song of Solomon 2:11-12 See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land.


I recently read an article in the Forest Preserve's newsletter about vernal ponds. In case you are unfamiliar with this amazing habitat (as I was), I will give you a brief synopsis. Vernal ponds are the big pools of water that appear in spring as the result of snow melting, rain falling and the water table rising. I have seen these frequently on my hikes and considered them a nuisance of spring. They prevent me from following the trail I am walking on, provide another reason my kids can't splash and all-around disrupt my lovely encounter with nature. What I didn't realize was how important and intricate they are.
See, in the vernal pond, a huge diversity of life emerges, protected by the fact that the ponds are inconsistent (predators have more trouble finding them). Some species of life can only begin in these quickly fading pools of water. In fact, the balance of life in the larger environment depends greatly on this small nuisance for me. I guess I will not become too upset when I next encounter a standing pool of water.

I think that in my everyday life, there are a lot of vernal ponds. See, I have many things I would love to see just "dry up and disappear." I have spiritual eyesores that I hope no one notices. I struggle through periods of doubt and confusion. I slowly begin to rely on myself to provide for my family, rather than trusting and acknowledging that God is the source of all good things. I wonder how God can allow pain and suffering and challenge him to come down and fix it all, to "prove himself" so to speak.

I want to avoid these tough spots. I want to live a faith filled life, with no struggle or pain. And yet, it is in these painful periods that I learn life's most important lessons. I learn about God's amazing compassion, when I see a friend who is struggling with a child's chronic illness call on God for strength. I see God's incredible forgiveness when I walk away from him, once again and he welcomes me back with open arms. I see God's endless mercy when I take credit for his deeds, and he blesses me just the same.

If I didn't have to face my own vernal ponds, ugly spiritual terrain, I wouldn't learn the beautiful spiritual truths that give me strength and courage in my faith. Just as in the forest preserves near my house, these vernal ponds are teeming with growth. I need to stand in awe and wonder, praising God for the his wisdom and diversity and trusting him to bring out new life once again.

Heavenly Father,
You have thought out every aspect of your creation, both physical and spiritual. You have given us beautiful spring blooms and stagnant vernal ponds. You have given us spiritual highs and lows. Through all of these things, you bring new life. Help us to recognize the growth and potential, rather then focusing on the external appearances. Bring us growth and new life.
Amen.